Bedtime used to be the part of the day Mammy dreaded most. Not because I didn’t love the cuddles or the stories… Of course I did. But because every evening felt like a battle I was losing, in the dark, armed only with whispered pleas of “If you don’t lie down now, Mammy’s going to cry too.”
Sound familiar?
I want to tell you how we turned our bedtime chaos into a calm (most nights, anyway) little ritual, without using cry-it-out. No judgment if that worked for you. Honestly, I nearly tried it myself in the wee hours one night. But it didn’t feel right for us, and I found another way. Here’s what helped.
1. We Started Earlier Than You’d Think
I used to think bedtime routine started when I announced “Time for pyjamas!” around 7:45. Nope.
Turns out, toddlers need wind-down time, a soft landing from the chaos of the day. Now we start our quiet transition around 6:30. That means lights dimmed, telly off, and no more chasing the cat with both of them leaving a path of destruction. Mammy puts on soft music (usually that whale song playlist I used to laugh at), and we move into a slower rhythm.
2. We Created a “Job Chart” Just for Bedtime
I made a wee laminated chart with bedtime “jobs”: brush teeth, go wee, put on pyjamas, pick a story. It’s just four simple steps with pictures beside them. We tick them off with a washable marker every night.
It’s heartwarming how proud he is to do his jobs. Mammy gets less resistance when the bedtime routine feels like his idea.
3. Storytime Became Sacred
No rushing, no skipping pages. Even if I’m half asleep myself, I try to show up for this part. He gets two books (his choice) and we cuddle under the same fleecy blanket every night. Sometimes he asks for the same book three nights in a row, and Mammy just goes with it.
This little pocket of attention makes him feel more secure than I realised it would.
4. The Magic of “The Sleepy Spray”
I got a lavender pillow spray (not even a fancy one), and now we have a little ritual. He sprays his pillow, takes a deep breath like a dragon, and we say the magic spell together: “It’s sleepy time now.”
Mammy might’ve accidentally sprayed her own pillow a few extra times too. It’s honestly lovely. He associates that scent with settling down now. It’s like a Pavlovian response with fewer drool puddles.
5. We Let Go of the Perfect Night
Some nights, everything goes out the window. There’s a tantrum about socks, a favourite toy loses its head, and mammy ends up singing Twinkle Twinkle from the hallway while googling, “How long can Mammy survive on no sleep?”
Instead of panicking or starting from scratch, I treat it like a blip. The routine is the same the next night. I stay calm. (Or fake it till I make it.)
Toddlers love structure, but they also test it. Mammy just keeps showing up.
Final Thoughts
We didn’t need to let him cry alone to learn how to fall asleep. What he needed was consistency, comfort, and a Mammy who was calm enough to guide him through it (or at least pretending to be calm until bedtime snacks kicked in).
Bedtime’s still bedtime. A bit mad, a bit messy. But now it feels like a closing ceremony instead of a war zone. And honestly, it’s one of my favourite times of the day.
Now if only I could get him to stay in his own bed all night… but that’s another blog post.